Despite Ogi Ogas, Why Feminism and Submission Are Great Bedfellows

So there’s been a lot of shit going down in the feminist blogosphere about an blog post I just got a chance to read on the Psychology Today website, authored by Ogi Ogas (of fandom survey fail fame) and Sai Gaddam.  The post is called Why Feminism Is the Anti-Viagra, and despite requisite ass-covering, the premise is basically that gender equality is making sex suck for heterosexual women because women are wired to have submission fantasies.

I’m not going to try to respond directly to the article, though if you’d like to read a good response, you should try Jill’s Feminism makes boners sad or Thomas’s Inherent Female Submission Follies: Why Ogi Ogas Is Full of Shit.  Instead, I want to share a perspective that is entirely anecdotal, and doesn’t prove anything about this hypothesis because I’m a queer person that does not live on the gender binary.  I want to share it because it’s important to me as a submissive, as a feminist, and as someone who believes in the importance of sexual communication.

Continue reading Despite Ogi Ogas, Why Feminism and Submission Are Great Bedfellows

Momentum Con Recap

I’m happy to say that I had an amazing weekend at Momentum, thanks to our fabulous organizers Tess & Diva, a truly excellent group of presenters, and a great crowd of attendees overall.  It felt so good to be in a sex-positive, mostly safe space for a weekend, and I feel about a hundred times more connected to the online sexuality community than I did before the convention.  It’s great to read the blogs and listen to the podcasts, but making new personal connections gives my writing and activism so much more energy.  I did a pretty good job of making time for self-care this weekend, in a number of ways, and for the most part managed to keep my mental health balanced.  There are tons of project ideas spinning through my head, and I know I need to tone it down, but I do think I’ll be ready to go ahead with the planned sexuality e-zine project soon.

Some of the highlights for me included:

Continue reading Momentum Con Recap

Let’s Talk About Sex

So far, Momentum has been very encouraging. The keynote panel really energized me to get out there as a sex educator and not be afraid of being young or the new kid on the block on this community. I also was pleased to hear some discussion of queerness and gender. Talk about anonymity was very relevant to me as I think about allowing my public identities to move a little closer to each other. I also got some ideas about where my niche might be as a writer and sex educator, and how that blends with overall queer feminist activism.

I’ve felt isolated before in the sex blogger community, but I felt very welcomed last night and was able to come out of my shell a bit. It’s still interesting how in a sexuality-focused group, it’s hard to just say hey, I find you attractive, but I imagine that gets easier with time.

Don’t forget to follow me @sexpositiveblog for livetweeting, and follow the whole con #mcon!

This post was originally published on the blog Sex Positive Activism, which has now merged to become the sex & relationships section of Queer & Now.

See You in Silver Spring!

I’m off for the weekend, first to a full workday, and then to Momentum! Hope to see you there, but if not, I’ll be liveblogging the con as much as possible from my iPod @sexpositiveblog. And if you’re local but haven’t signed up yet, Tristan Taormino and Susie Bright’s “Multigenerational Feminist Pornographers Mouth Off” is now open to the public for $5 Sunday. Come on down!

This post was originally published on the blog Sex Positive Activism, which has now merged to become the sex & relationships section of Queer & Now.