A Polyamory Pro Finally Deals with the Jealousy Monster for Valentine’s Day

Eventually, this was bound to happen. For years, I’ve been explaining to folks that I don’t experience jealousy, and have been met with a fair dose of reasonable skepticism. I completely understand that jealousy is natural and normal, even for non-monogamous folks, I would explain. But I just don’t feel it. Mild envy, sure, but jealousy? Well, I’m not quite sure that what I recently experienced does qualify as jealousy, but I think envy would be accurate, and given the unusual strength of the feelings I dealt with in a single weekend—despite the fact that my metamour is one of the most awesome people in my life and part of my circle of close friends—I thought it might be helpful to others if I wrote a little bit about what I experienced and the strategies I’m using to address the possibility of these feelings cropping up again. And yes, I’m scheduling this post for Valentine’s Day, because practical communication and addressing challenges in relationships is romantic, dammit.

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Using Technology to Go the Fuck to Sleep

screenshot of the Ambiance app on an iPhoneAs I near my thirtieth birthday, I’m becoming more and more familiar with intermittent bouts of insomnia. Sometimes I’ll sleep great for a week or two, but other times I have difficulty falling asleep or (more new for me) staying asleep. I’m even writing this post at 2:30 in the morning after five hours of sleep. In other words, my life has turned into one of those sleeping pill commercials. But I’m not particularly keen on pharmaceutical remedies, other than the occasional dose of valerian root when I have something really important in the morning, so I’ve turned to whatever my iPhone can offer to seek assistance in turning my brain off and catching some zzzs. This post isn’t a comprehensive review of all the apps and podcasts out there in this genre, but it’s a sampling of some of the things I’ve tried. Let me know about your strategies in the comments!

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Review: The Submissive Playground

For a change from all the book reviews in the Sex & Relationships section here at Queer & Now, I decided last year that I wanted to find more of a sexual experience to review for you lovely readers, something that’s offered regularly and available for you to try yourselves. Since most kink events don’t welcome press coverage, I had to do some digging, but I eventually stumbled upon something called the Submissive Playground, facilitated by writer and educator Sinclair Sexsmith. Having worked with Sinclair previously at a queer erotic bodywork workshop, I thought this would be an awesome opportunity, and so I participated in the Playground for an eight-week course in the summer of 2014.  If this review interests you, the course is running again right now, but stay tuned to the website for the next round, and in the meantime dominant folks have a couple of weeks left to register for Mastering Dominance, a half-day online workshop from Sinclair that takes place on February 22nd. If it’s anything like my experience in the Submissive Playground, I’d highly recommend it!

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