One argument I’ve heard a lot in reference to bisexuality or pansexuality is “it’s not about the gender to me, it’s about the person.” Which is all well and good, of course, but I think it’s kind of unfair for people who are monosexual (straight or gay) or have some group of people that they are not attracted to for reasons of sex or gender. If this is the case, is it no longer “about the person?” Presumably, bisexual and pansexual people also have dealbreakers–perhaps related to things like marital status, smoker or non, children or childfree, financial situation, hobbies, drug use, location, or whatever else. When a group of people is excluded from dating consideration in this way, is it no longer “about the person?” If not, then why would this apply to gender? Food for thought.
This post was originally published on the blog Sex Positive Activism, which has now merged to become the sex & relationships section of Queer & Now.