I’ve been trying to think of what to say about fantasies for a couple of weeks, because I have so much to say about fantasies. So I think, instead of doing one big post about fantasies, I will start small, and continue on this theme for a while.
Tonight I want to talk about what I call the “id fantasies.” Id fantasies, as I define them, are those fantasies that are not just down and dirty but often a little bit embarrassing. They might be mainstream porny, they might be way beyond what you’d ever want to do in real life, they might kind of go against your politics in every way. But they’re hot.
Id fantasies might come from socialization, from early exposures to erotic imagery and language. Really mainstream, heteronormative, gender essentializing porny things can be hot to even the queerest, most alternative people because they are available from an early age. As erotic images and words, they can also have the allure of the forbidden. One of the first pornographic images I was exposed to was some comic strip in a MAD Magazine involving a pirate and a busty female, and I don’t remember a thing about it, except that for a long time as an adolescent I fantasized about men and women with really large penises and breasts.
I stumbled upon some erotic webcomics recently, and I noticed that a lot of them, while being progressive in some ways (queer, kinky, etc.) also play on some of the very typical mainstream id tropes. Damsel in distress, pirate and captive, etc. And they can be kind of hot. That might be because the connect to early fantasies, or it might be that for queer adults, they’re the new subversive–once radical queer sex is part of your everyday sexual life, maybe highly gendered heteronormative porn becomes the subversive thing. It’s an interesting curiosity, though.
This post was originally published on the blog Sex Positive Activism, which has now merged to become the sex & relationships section of Queer & Now.